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Permission Is Not the Same as Authority

“Mom said I could handle it.”

It’s a statement I often hear from adult children trying to help a parent manage finances, property, or other important matters.

And I understand why it feels like that should be enough.

If your parent trusts you and has clearly told you what they want you to do, why wouldn’t it be?

The answer is that permission and legal authority are not always the same thing.

In my years as an estate planning attorney, I’ve seen how this distinction can become especially important when a parent becomes unable to manage their own affairs.

What Is Permission?

Permission can be as simple as a conversation.

Your parent may tell you, “I want you to handle my finances,” or “I want you to take care of the house for me.” They may explain exactly what they would like you to do and trust you completely to carry out their wishes.

That conversation matters. It gives you an understanding of your parent’s intentions.

But a conversation does not necessarily give you the legal authority to act on your parent’s behalf when a bank, financial institution, government agency, or other third party requires formal documentation.

What Is Legal Authority?

Legal authority is what establishes your recognized ability to take certain actions for another person.

For example, imagine your parent becomes incapacitated and you need to address an issue with a financial institution. You explain:

“My mother told me I could handle her finances.”

Even if that is completely true, the institution may require documentation showing that you have the authority to act for her.

This is where families can find themselves facing unexpected obstacles at an already difficult time.

The issue isn’t whether your parent trusted you.

The issue is whether the appropriate legal authority was established before it was needed.

A Power of Attorney Can Be Part of the Solution

One important estate planning tool for lifetime incapacity is a Durable Power of Attorney.

A properly prepared Power of Attorney can allow a person to designate someone they trust to handle certain financial and property matters on their behalf if they are unable to do so themselves.

The specific powers granted—and how and when those powers can be exercised—matter. That is why a Power of Attorney should be thoughtfully prepared as part of an overall estate plan rather than treated as simply another form to sign.

And a Power of Attorney is only one piece of an incapacity plan. Depending on your circumstances, other documents may also be important.

Plan Before There Is a Crisis

The best time to have these conversations is while your parent is healthy and able to make decisions.

Talk about who they trust. Discuss what they would want that person to be able to handle. Then determine what legal documents may be needed to formally establish that authority.

Having these conversations ahead of time can help prevent confusion and unnecessary stress later.

Because when a crisis occurs, you don’t want to discover that the person your parent trusted doesn’t have the legal authority to act.

Don’t wait for a crisis to discover that permission isn’t enough.

Estate planning is not simply about preparing for what happens after death. It can also help you prepare for situations that may arise during your lifetime—especially when someone you love can no longer make or communicate decisions for themselves.

The conversation is important. The legal authority is important, too.

Information in this article is provided for educational purposes only and not intended to constitute legal advice. Please consult with a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction for help with your specific situation.

For assistance with Maryland and D.C. Estate Planning and Probate/Estate Administration matters,

contact the

Law Offices of Elsa W. Smith, LLC

at 410-995-7719